This one really takes the cake. It takes the cake and covers it in rainbow-colored icing and multi-colored jimmies. I don't even have an introduction for it - it's that astounding.
The Pentagon just admitted that it has been working on a bomb... wait for it... that will turn everyone within its blast radius.... gay.
Yes, you read that correctly, I'm afraid. This is beyond the beyond. I wonder if this one was cooked up by those science fiction writers the government hired last week! Man, this country gets weirder every god damn day.
Just know this, as you read the story - this is what your tax dollars are being spent on!
But wait, it gets scarier - I think they've been testing this bomb in our own backyard - the West Village!
An elite strike force has been summoned to investigate further. If you have a problem, if no one else can help, and if you can find them, maybe you can hire: THE GAY-TEAM