The Associated Press: Not A Girl, Not Yet a Woman

Wow, sometimes, my ability to still be disgusted by the world catches me by surprise.

Remember the long-winded, morose post I did about Season 5 of the Wire? About the collapse of the media and its role in society? Well, in a delcious dose of reality, check out the memo below, which was sent around internally at The Associated Press this week.


Yes, the Associated Press, the most expansive newswire in the world. The one that dictates a significant portion of the coverage you see in any newspaper or online news site.

Here's how they describe themselves on their own site:

"The Associated Press is the backbone of the world's information system serving thousands of daily newspaper, radio, television and online customers with coverage in all media and news in all formats. It is the largest and oldest news organization in the world, serving as a source of news, photos, graphics, audio and video.AP's mission is to be the essential global news network, providing distinctive news services of the highest quality, reliability and objectivity with reports that are accurate, balanced and informed."

Yeah, that sounds really nice.

Now take a look at this Holy Horseshit, which was circulated to AP staff this week by Assistant Chief Frank S. Baker:


The end is nigh, my friends.

Look out next week when Reuters issues a tell-all exposé on Hannah Montana, whoever the fuck that is. (The way things are going, I'm sure I'll know who she is soon enough.)