Dispatches From The Ledge

If You're Having As Bad A Week As I Am...

hellobastards@gmail.com (D'Artagnan) — Thu, 30 Oct 2008 16:00:00 +0000

Maybe this picture will cheer you up.

It worked for me!

S'True!

hellobastards@gmail.com (D'Artagnan) — Wed, 15 Oct 2008 15:45:00 +0000

Memory, Memory, Memory

hellobastards@gmail.com (D'Artagnan) — Thu, 11 Sep 2008 08:53:00 +0000

Remembrance is a golden chain
Death tries to break, but all in vain.
To have, to love, and then to part
Is the greatest sorrow of one's heart.
The years may wipe out many things
But some they wipe out never.
Like memories of those happy times
When we were all together.
- Author Unknown

Missing you very much today, my friend.

xo

Hallelujah

hellobastards@gmail.com (D'Artagnan) — Fri, 22 Aug 2008 21:06:00 +0000

ABOUT
FUCKING
TIME.

Old George Is Up On the Roof

hellobastards@gmail.com (D'Artagnan) — Mon, 23 Jun 2008 23:45:00 +0000

The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends. I mean, life is tough. It takes up a lot of your time. What do you get at the end of it? A death! What's that--a bonus? I think the life cycle is all backwards.
You should die first, get it out of the way.
Then you live in an old-age home.
You get kicked out when you're too young.
You get a gold watch.
You go to work.
You work forty years until you're young enough to enjoy your retirement.
You do drugs, alcohol, you party, you get ready for high school.
You go to grade school.
You become a kid, you play, you have no responsibilities.
You become a little baby, you go back into the womb.
You spend your last nine months floating.
.......and you finish off as an orgasm!

- George Carlin

Comrades, with a heavy heart I must report the death of another American great. Mr. George Carlin has left the building. Bought the farm. Told his last fart joke. Blasphemed his last deity. Or, as the man himself (a committed Frisbeetarian) would say, his frisbee's up on the roof and it ain't coming down. You can cross him out of your address books. Just wait 6 weeks first. (Another favorite hobby of his.)

I'm keeping this light, because that's what George did. (I would never say "that's what he would have wanted," because he would have skinned me alive and fed me to the Jesus-freaks if I did.) In fact, I'm reticent to even use a cliché like "Rest in Peace" because he'd have questioned that too ("How the hell else is someone supposed to rest??? Excitedly???")

That's what he did: questioned things. He examined, dissected, deconstructed, learned and of course, mocked. He could identify the most amazing discoveries in the most inane of topics:

"Why is the man (or woman) who invests all your money called a broker?"
"If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?"
"If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted?"
"What if there were no hypothetical questions?"

Needless to say ("Then why say it???"), George will be missed. Very few people in the world probably knew him personally, but everyone knew him to a degree, because he left it all on the stage. You knew the way he thought, the lengths to which he'd go to make a joke, and you've probably got at least 2 or 3 favorite jokes of his bouncing around in your skull at any given point during the day. As the man said, you are all diseased! But your disease is an ability to laugh at the world's absurdity, thanks in no small part to this demented genius.

So George, although it pains me to write this, we'll miss you, but we'll leave that frisbee on the roof, right where it is. It was some throw that got it up there, that's for sure.

To all the rest of you, I leave you with the closest thing to a blessing that George would ever voice:

May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.

Here's a few more words of wisdom from the man himself:

On Death:

On Religion:

On the Seven Words You can Never Say on Television:

Tim Russert, You Will Be Missed

hellobastards@gmail.com (D'Artagnan) — Sat, 14 Jun 2008 06:32:00 +0000

Tonight a giant in the world of news media passed away: Tim Russert, longtime host of "Meet the Press" and a major force in the NBC News family. Tim apparently died of a heart attack, at the age of 58, just this evening, after returning from a trip to Italy with this family.

I'm truly at a loss for words. I'll never forget watching Tim report the news and opinions of the world during the 2000 election, the tragedy of 9/11, the war in Afghanistan, the entire epic of the Iraq war, and most recently, the 2008 primary campaign. He was, in my eyes, the pinnacle of what a news journalist should be: informed, intuitive, patient and persistent. I learned more about the world by watching Tim Russert explain it to me.

I'm truly upset by this news - the world has suffered a great loss this evening.

Here is a nice tribute that NBC put together for Tim, which barely scratches the surface of this absolute titan:

YES WE CAN.

hellobastards@gmail.com (D'Artagnan) — Wed, 04 Jun 2008 04:46:00 +0000

Dear Ledgers,

I haven't written in a while. I've been busy, distracted and otherwise occupied. But on the evening of such auspicious news, I'll make an exception.

Nice work, America. On to November!

Namasté,
D'Artagnan

PS - Please enjoy this old timey number from another fellow American:

"Mekka-lekka hi mekka hiney ho!"

hellobastards@gmail.com (D'Artagnan) — Tue, 22 Apr 2008 16:24:00 +0000

This is really so unbelievable, I can scarcely find the words to describe it.

I'll just say that our president apparently has so little to do and is so completely out to lunch, he has resorted to loaning himself out for cameos on shitty TV game shows.

That's our president. He looks like Jambi from Peewee's Playhouse for god's sake!!!

Every time I think he's reached a new level of idiocy, he continues to lower the bar. Good grief. I'm actually starting to miss Karl Rove - say what you will about ol' Turd Blossom, this kind of shit would never have happened on his dime. (He prefers other forms of pageantry, of course.)

What's on schedule for next week, an appearance on Gossip Girl??? OMFG!

"No Regrets"

hellobastards@gmail.com (D'Artagnan) — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 15:56:00 +0000

Below is a detailed list of Iraq "by the numbers" released by Senator Harry Reid's office. Many of these numbers are nothing short of horrifying. I would encourage everyone to read them (note, they are referenced for verification) and think about how much longer we can possibly keep this charade going.

Even when this war makes headlines every day, it can all have a tendency to blur together. So please, take a look at the toll this war has taken on our country and the world, and keep these numbers in mind in considering your candidate this year.

And if these figures don't get your blood boiling enough, perhaps you could click this link and read more about the situation from a far more ignorant and malevolent perspective: "Five years on, Bush says no regrets on Iraq war."

Absolutely disgusting.

REMINDER: IT'S AN ELECTION YEAR!

The numbers:

The Cost to Our Forces in Iraq

3,990: American troops who have died in Iraq since the start of the war. [icasualties.org, 3/17/08]
29,395: Number of U.S. service members that have been wounded in hostile action since the start of U.S. military operations in Iraq. [AP, 3/11/08]
60,000: Number of troops that have been subjected to controversial stop-loss measures--meaning those who have completed service commitments but are forbidden to leave the military until their units return from war. [US News and World Report, 2/25/08]
5: Number of times the 3rd Battalion, 4th Marine Regiment has been sent to Iraq. They are the first Marine Corps unit to be sent to Iraq for a fifth time. [San Francisco Chronicle, 2/27/08]
2,100: Number of troops who tried to commit suicide or injure themselves increased from 350 in 2002 to 2,100 last year. [US News and World Report, 2/25/08]
11.9: Percent of noncommissioned Army officers who reported mental health problems during their first Iraq tour [Los Angeles Times, 3/7/08]
27.2: Percent of noncommissioned Army officers who reported mental health problems during their third or fourth Iraq tour [Los Angeles Times, 3/7/08]

The Cost to Our Military Readiness

88: Percent of current and former U.S. military officers surveyed in a recent independent study who believe that the demands of the war in Iraq have "stretched the U.S. military dangerously thin" [Foreign Policy/Center for New American Security, 2/19/08]
94: Percent of Army recruits who had high school diplomas in Fiscal Year 2003 [Larry Korb, The Guardian, 10/12/07]
79: Percent of Army recruits who had high school diplomas in Fiscal Year 2007 [Larry Korb, The Guardian, 10/12/07]
4,644: Number of new Army recruits who were granted moral waivers in Fiscal Year 2003. [Houston Chronicle, 10/14/07]
12,057: Number of new Army recruits who were granted moral waivers in Fiscal Year 2007. [Houston Chronicle, 10/14/07]
67: Percent of captains the Army managed to retain this year, short of its goal of 80 percent, and in spite of cash bonus incentives of up to $35,000 [Armed Services Committee Hearing, 2/26/08]

The Cost to Our National Security

1,188: Number of global terrorist incidents from January - September 11th, 2001. [American Security Project, "Are We Winning?," September 2007]
5,188: Number of global terrorist incidents in from January- September 11th, 2006. [American Security Project, "Are We Winning?," September 2007]
30: Percent increase in violence in Afghanistan from 2006 to 2007. [Reuters, 10/15/07]
21: Number of suicide bombings in Afghanistan in 2001. [Center for American Progress, "The Forgotten Front," 11/07]
139: Number of suicide bombings in Afghanistan in 2006, with an additional increase of 69 percent as of November 2007. [Center for American Progress, "The Forgotten Front," 11/07]
30: Percent of Afghanistan controlled by the Afghan Government according to DNI Mike McConnell. [Associated Press, 2/27/08]
2,380: Days since September 11th, 2001 that Osama Bin Laden has been at-large.

The Cost of Funding the War in Iraq

$50-60 Billion: Bush Administration's pre-war estimates of the cost of the war. [New York Times, 12/31/02]
$12 Billion: Direct cost per month of the Iraq War. [Washington Post, Bilmes and Stiglitz Op-Ed, 3/9/08]
$526 Billion: Amount of money already appropriated by Congress for the War in Iraq. [CRS, 2/22/08]
$3 Trillion: Total estimated cost of the Iraq War. [Washington Post, Bilmes and Stiglitz Op-Ed, 3/9/08]
$5 Trillion - $7 Trillion: Total cost of wars in Iraq and Afghanistan accounting for continued military operations, growing debt and interest payments and continuing health care and counseling costs for veterans. [McClatchy, 2/27/08]
160: Percent that the cost of the Iraq War has increased from 2004 to 2008. [CRS Report, 2/22/08]

The Cost to Iraqis and Journalists

8,000: Number of Iraqi military and police killed since June 2003. [Brookings Institute, Iraq Index, March 13, 2008]
82,000-89,000: Estimate of Iraqi civilians casualties from violence since the beginning of the Iraq War. [Iraq Body Count]
4.5 Million: Number of Iraqi refugees both inside and outside the country. [Washington Post, 3/17/08]
61: Percent of Iraqis that believe the U.S. military presence makes the security situation in Iraq worse. [Agence France-Presse, 3/17/08]
127: Number of journalists killed in Iraq since March 2003. [Committee to Protect Journalists]

Economic Costs of War in Iraq

$33.51: Cost of a barrel of oil in March 2003. [Energy Information Administration]
$105.68: Cost of a barrel of oil on March 17, 2008. [NYMEX]

U.S. Troops and Contractors in Iraq

132,000: Number of U.S. troops in Iraq in January 2007, before President Bush's escalation. [Brookings Institution, Iraq Index, 3/13/08]
155,000: Number of U.S. troops currently in Iraq. [Brookings Institution, Iraq Index, 3/13/08]
140,000: Number of U.S. troops projected to be in Iraq in July 2008. [Associated Press, 2/26/08]
35,000: Number of private security contractors operating in Iraq. [Human Rights First, Private Security Contractors at War]
180,000: Number of private contractors operating in Iraq. [Human Rights First, Private Security Contractors at War]

Progress Towards Political Reconciliation Made By Iraqis

3: Number out of 18 Bush Administration Benchmarks Met by Iraqi Government As of January 24, 2008. [Center for American Progress, 1/24/08]
18: Number of provinces President Bush said would be secured by Iraqis as of November 2007. [President Bush Speech, 1/10/07]
8: Number of provinces actually secured by Iraqis as of January 2008. [NPR, 1/7/08]

Bush-Republican Intransigence on Staying the Course in Iraq

8: Number of times a majority of the Senate has voted to change course in Iraq.
7: Number of times Bush Republicans in Congress have blocked changing course in Iraq.
1: Number of vetoes issued by the White House over changing course in Iraq.

This Music Geek Has Gone To Heaven

hellobastards@gmail.com (D'Artagnan) — Tue, 18 Mar 2008 17:35:00 +0000

Although life continues to throw its unending barrage of shit sandwiches my way, a deep, dark recess of my heart is still kindled by a remote flicker of joy.

Why, you ask? Well, I'll tell you.

If nothing else, this digital barf bag of a blog has probably conveyed one thing: I am an unapologetic Elliott Smith fan. Do a search in the field above if you need evidence of that fact.

Well, recently, one of my favorite online music dealers, Aural Exploits (do click the link and pay them a visit), offered a reissue of Elliott's classic (and previously out of print) albums XO and Figure 8. Aural Exploits is offering both albums on limited edition (500 only!) colored vinyl.

As you might imagine, I pounced on that deal like a feral beast. And now, I'm happy to report, the sexy items in the image below are hurrying on their way to my house. And so, for a brief moment in a weary world, life is good.

Behold!

My Advice: Do Not Displease Keith Olbermann

hellobastards@gmail.com (D'Artagnan) — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 05:57:00 +0000

So by now, I'm guessing everyone has heard about Geraldine Ferraro mouthing off about Obama. She maintains her innocence vehemently and is now suggesting that she herself is in fact the target of attack. Riiiiiight. *You're* the victim of an attack that *you* started. Makes a fella yearn for the simpler times, when Ann Coulter's crazy ass was the ideal of lunacy.

Let me ask you this - if ol' Gerry was so innocent, would the Wu-Tang Clan have written lyrics about her? I think not. As a matter of fact, I can't think of one instance when the Wu-Tang used improper judgement. The lyrics in question:

"I gamed Ella,
The bitch caught a Fitz like Gerald-ine Ferraro
Who’s full of sorrow, cuz the hoe didn’t win
But the sun will still come out tomorrow…"
- The Gza

Well, one good rant deserves another. And as many of you know, ain't nobody in the business that can rant like my boy Keith "The Doberman" Olbermann. Honestly, sometimes the guy seems just a pinstripe suit and a silk tie away from turning into Macho Man Randy Savage. And I mean that in the best way possible.

Watch him serve Hillary for not responding to Ferraro better and sooner. And old Geraldine gets some choice words herself :

The Wire, R.I.P.

hellobastards@gmail.com (D'Artagnan) — Mon, 10 Mar 2008 15:12:00 +0000

Last night was the series finale of The Wire. Man, I am really going to miss that show.

The finale brought a mix of resolution and disillusionment. Some characters got what was coming to them, and some got away with everything all over again. Although some of these results were disappointing or sad, in the end, it all felt honest and true to life. Which is what the show was always about.

Take a look at some great coverage of the finale:

The New York Times
The Baltimore Sun (perhaps a bit prickly about how they were portrayed this season)
The Onion AV Club (and a separate interview with creator David Simon HERE)
Time Magazine (a colletive op-ed from the Wire writing team, calling for some good old fashioned American dissent in response to the drug war's impact on the US prison system)

Also, for more backstory on this excellent program, please see my previous post about it. I can't recommend a TV show more - buy, rent or steal these DVDs if you have to! It's a show that simply shouldn't be missed.

As detective Kima Greggs said in a recent episode, as she tucked her adopted son (and the entire city of Baltimore) in for bed:

Goodnight moon,

Goodnight stars,

Goodnight po-pos,

Goodnight fiends,

Goodnight hoppers,

Goodnight hustlers,

Goodnight scammers,

Goodnight to everybody,

Goodnight to one and all.

Many Bothans Died to Bring Us This Information

hellobastards@gmail.com (D'Artagnan) — Thu, 14 Feb 2008 22:11:00 +0000

In yet another instance of life imitating art imitating Star Wars, I just read today that the United States is planning to shoot down a runaway spy satellite, before it enters the earth's atmosphere. Word on the street is that this is a pre-emptive strike, hoping to stop the leak of a deadly toxic gas from its fuel tank.

Wait, what???

Let me see... I guess we're fighting the satellite there, so we don't have to fight it here? Because, as everyone knows, if you don't eradicate a satellite while you have the chance, it will follow you home. Question: can we use waterboarding on a satellite?

In all honesty, why do I have the sneaking suspicion that perhaps it's not a Michael Bay-worthy film premise that is causing us to blow this thing up, but perhaps something else? An idea that wasn't cooked up by the mind of a 13 year old?

Oh wait - incoming message:

... the decision to shoot it down was taken by the President, George W Bush, after being told its re-entry could cause deaths.

Aha!

However, some experts believe the risk is minimal and that the US wants to test out its missile-defence system.

The satellite is also carrying militarily-sensitive imaging sensors which the US would not want to fall into the wrong hands. It is impossible to predict where the satellite will land until it enters the atmosphere.

Aha-Aha!

I rest my case. The quote above is unedited - it appeared exactly in that sequence in the article in the UK Telegraph. The simple combination of W wanting to blow it up, paired with the possibility of testing our blow-stuff-up capabilities and the very simple concept of it potentially having technology and information on it that we wouldn't want to share... well, as Tony Soprano once said, "You don't need a gynecologist to know which way the wind blows." Indeed, Tony.

We sure cracked that case, didn't we Encyclopedia Brown?!

"We Are The Ones We've Been Waiting For"

hellobastards@gmail.com (D'Artagnan) — Thu, 07 Feb 2008 06:57:00 +0000

So we made it through Supercalafrajalistic-expialadocious Tuesday. And truthfully, for all my usual huffing and puffing on this site, I still haven't made up my mind as to who the hell I'm going to vote for this year.

For the first time in years, there really is a lot to consider and the candidates are actually interesting and complex. And the possibility that a woman or a person of color could take the job is enough to get me giddy. What a huge moment in time this is!

Obama is obviously the easiest to like. Sure, his experience isn't as extensive as his competitors, but in all fairness, that's probably to his credit! He hasn't been around long enough to get chewed up and repackaged in the political process. He's really bringing hope to people this year, like I've never seen before. What he lacks in history, he more than compensates for in energy and passion. He is the personfiication of a breath of fresh air, after the septic stench we've been breathing for almost eight years. I think he could do the job, with aplomb. But as an African-American, can he really get elected in this country? The skeptic in me wonders. But at his best moments, Obama makes my skepticism evaporate.

Hillary, we all know her. I think everyone has a good idea of what to expect from Hillary, and I don't think there's any mystery as to why some folks hate that and others love it. With Hillary, you don't get the same squeaky clean reputation as Obama, but you do get experience. She's been a senator for several years now and she was no slouch as a First Lady either. The question people need to ask is whether or not they want another Clinton in the White House again. That's a black and white issue almost (no pun intended, seriously). She also faces a similar problem to Obama, although not quite: is America ready to elect a woman to office? I'd like to think we are.

Hell, even John McCain isn't so bad. There are a few things I like about him. First of all, his experience is exemplary. He's been serving this country so long, both in the military and politically. And his military record and story is amazing - in fact it's unassailable, and as such, there's really no need to discuss it. Second, he stands as a reminder that a Republican doesn't have to be a crazy right wing bible hugger! Yes, it's true. He's certainly more conservative than a Democrat, but he's not nearly as conservative as the Bushies. Praise Allah. Even if McCain won the final election, it would still be a marked improvement on the kind of Republican we've come to know in recent years.

Mike Huckabee? Well, he is a more positive persona than Bush, but that's hardly a soaring accomplishment. Truth is, he's still a right wing bible hugger. I just can't get behind a leader whose priorities are oriented that way - he doesn't even believe in evolution! I think we've had enough of that "intelligent" thinking, thanks very much.

Romney, well, all I can say about him is he's no Mike Huckabee.

To be perfectly honest, I don't really care who anyone out there is planning to vote for, but there are two undeniable truths on the campaign trail this year:

1. I know everyone from Puff Daddy to your grandma is telling yout his, but it's true: Your vote counts. There are choices this year, there are gray areas, pros and cons for each candidate. And consequences - CONSEQUENCES! Now more than I can ever recall, it's important to get the vote out. I would like to believe that history would not repeat itself and we wouldn't get stuck with another person like the moron we've had for the last seven years, but... if W has taught me anything, it's that mediocrity always stands a chance in this country. So please vote. Please register to vote. Please help to ensure something better comes along.

2. All issues, politics, etc. aside - this guy is one hell of a public speaker! Can you blame people for getting excited about him???

I can't.

Good Grief, Charlie Bukowski!

hellobastards@gmail.com (D'Artagnan) — Fri, 25 Jan 2008 21:22:00 +0000

This is the funniest thing I've seen in a long time.

One of the Best Films I've Seen in a Long Time

hellobastards@gmail.com (D'Artagnan) — Mon, 14 Jan 2008 06:12:00 +0000

Simple as that. It's called "Once."

It's kind of a modern day musical about an Irish street busker and a Czech woman he meets that helps him take his music to the next level. It's really touching and beautifully filmed. And the music is fantastic. It stars Glen Hansard and a woman named Marketa Irglova. Glen is the lead singer and songwriter for the Irish band The Frames.

Highly recommended. Check out the trailer.

Here's a clip of one of the songs from the film. It's called "Falling Slowly."

The Associated Press: Not A Girl, Not Yet a Woman

hellobastards@gmail.com (D'Artagnan) — Wed, 09 Jan 2008 17:44:00 +0000

Wow, sometimes, my ability to still be disgusted by the world catches me by surprise.

Remember the long-winded, morose post I did about Season 5 of the Wire? About the collapse of the media and its role in society? Well, in a delcious dose of reality, check out the memo below, which was sent around internally at The Associated Press this week.

Yes, the Associated Press, the most expansive newswire in the world. The one that dictates a significant portion of the coverage you see in any newspaper or online news site.

Here's how they describe themselves on their own site:

"The Associated Press is the backbone of the world's information system serving thousands of daily newspaper, radio, television and online customers with coverage in all media and news in all formats. It is the largest and oldest news organization in the world, serving as a source of news, photos, graphics, audio and video.AP's mission is to be the essential global news network, providing distinctive news services of the highest quality, reliability and objectivity with reports that are accurate, balanced and informed."

Yeah, that sounds really nice.

Now take a look at this Holy Horseshit, which was circulated to AP staff this week by Assistant Chief Frank S. Baker:

The end is nigh, my friends.

Look out next week when Reuters issues a tell-all exposé on Hannah Montana, whoever the fuck that is. (The way things are going, I'm sure I'll know who she is soon enough.)

You Literally Can't Make This Shit Up (Part Trois!)

hellobastards@gmail.com (D'Artagnan) — Fri, 04 Jan 2008 00:54:00 +0000

Boy, Sia, you really said it. That is one great name for an album.

Well, it's a great name for anything, really. And fucking best of all, this is actually the goddamn album cover!

Wow, this is so great! And it's not even my birthday. It looks like something from Dave Attell's imagination. I know this is early out of the gates, but I'm thinking this is a strong contender for the best idea of 2008.

If anyone needs me for the next 12 months, I'll be over there in the corner, quietly giggling and peeing my pants.

[Insert Lyrics to Nirvana's "All Apologies"]

hellobastards@gmail.com (D'Artagnan) — Fri, 04 Jan 2008 00:29:00 +0000

Many apologies to the poor people who recently scoured the internet for The Most Important News of 2007 only to stumble upon this dumb site, and in particular, this dumb post.

But really, like most things, it's R. Kelly's fault.

The Longest Post Ever About The Best Show Ever

hellobastards@gmail.com (D'Artagnan) — Wed, 02 Jan 2008 08:46:00 +0000

Ladies and gentlemen, we live in bittersweet times. At best. I hope you didn't need me to tell you that. I find every day is a battle to take the good within the context of the bad that gets doled out. It takes discipline not to investigate the ratios of good to bad, because if you look too closely, you're not going to like what you see.

And in this dour spirit, I find it no surprise whatsoever that my favorite show on television is The Wire.

If you're reading this now, I hope this is not the first time you have heard of this show. If so, I'm sorry, because you've missed out on some fantastic writing, acting and dedication to the craft of storytelling. But if you've never heard of the show, I'm not surprised. The Wire has been plagued with low audience figures since it was first conceived (such is the plight of many intelligent programs). The audience it does retain, however, is a rabid group of similarly addicted viewers like myself.

The micro view of The Wire is that it is a modern crime drama, depicting the two sides of the drug war in America. You see the story unfold from both the police perspective and the criminal perspective. And there are "good guys" and "bad guys" on both sides, for certain. It doesn't paint a very pretty picture of the world - there are drug dealers who you actually find yourself rooting for and there are police officers that embody the worst qualities humanity has to offer. And there are thousands of gray areas in between of course. It's not the prettiest picture, but it is a compelling one.

The macro view... well, that's where things get really dark.

In its essence, The Wire is really the story of the decline of civilization - or, at least, American civilization. It tells the tale of political, municipal, administrative corruption that occurs in surround sound at all times. These forces align to create a block that prevents progress, discourages independent thinking and alienates both the working class and civilians in general. This confluence of negative forces perpetuates societal norms and dysfunction that extends to both the street-level drug game and the political powers at the highest level of government.

Just give me a second to catch my breath here.... phew.

The Wire has illustrated this systematic degradation on a variety of intertwining levels:

Season 1 exposed the street-level impact of the drug trade, as well as the bureaucratic webs that even the most dedicated of police officers have to negotiate in order to do good police work. Often, both systems work profoundly against their own workforce.

Season 2 shed light on the death of the working class. These are the people that once comprised the "salt of the earth" and did the work that made industry and modern civilization happen. In this case, it is shown as dockworkers. Men and women who start with honest intentions, but eventually are drawn into the tangled webs of criminal activity and survivalist behavior. In other words, they mimic similar patterns to the cop/criminal structure exposed in Season 1.

Season 3 again goes back to a street level perspective, but with a keen focus on how street-level issues impact the political game. Here we see the genesis of a political campaign striving for a "new day" in Baltimore. Guess what? It never happens. When one police captain takes the initiative to legalize drugs or as he states it "elects to ignore them," even the best of political intentions wash away in the fray, for the sake of self-preservation.

Season 4, perhaps the most unnerving of all so far, incorporates all the levels of the story so far - the cops, the criminals, the politicians and then extends the story to a new audience: the next generation. Or, in other words, it examines the failure of the education system, which does its part to perpetuate the continued divergence and struggles among the various factions of society.

Season 5 purports to add yet another level of noise to the story: the media.

Speaking of Season 5, it officially begins this Sunday, January 6th. I had the opportunity to watch the season premiere and it did not disappoint. If you have never seen the Wire, and you've read this far, I invite you to check it out this season, because it is the final season. Rather than ramble on into oblivion, the powers behind The Wire have elected to bow out gracefully, after telling a gritty, compelling and truly inspiring story, completely on its own terms.

I know the description above probably doesn't sound like much of a fun time, but I promise you, once you've sunk your teeth into this show, you won't be able to stay away. It's absolutely enthralling. And as the original slogan for the show suggested, I would agree: Listen Carefully.

The Wire airs Sundays at 9pm on HBO.

For the uninitiated, or the simply curious, following are a few links that may be of interest:

An overview on the series from creator David Simon.

A series of videos from a talk David Simon Gave at Loyola University in Baltimore.
Video 1
Video 2
Video 3

An excellent story on the Wire from The New Yorker.

And last, but certainly not least, just to show that all of this does have a sense of humor from time to time, here is a clip of one of the best scenes from the entire series. Detectives Bunk and McNulty investigate a crime scene and identify the method in which a shooting victim was attacked:

Sometimes, The Good Things Last

hellobastards@gmail.com (D'Artagnan) — Sat, 15 Dec 2007 16:56:00 +0000

Well, I just had a record-setting shitty week. I worked every day from December 3rd until yesterday (including the weekend). And it was pretty crappy the entire time, although, especially so at the end. I have some time off coming soon and it can't get here fast enough.

But I'm trying to keep positive. I'm trying to take comfort in the small things that make me happy. My new apartment, my friends, listening to music.

Which is why I was pleasantly surprised to learn that one of my favorite websites on the whole internets is still alive and kicking. CLICK HERE to check it out. I'm sure you'll grow to love it as much as I do.

Radiohead: In-Genius

hellobastards@gmail.com (D'Artagnan) — Wed, 12 Dec 2007 02:58:00 +0000

Wow, I just got my Radiohead In Rainbows 'discbox' in the mail today, and let me tell you, it's like they sent a big box of musical porn. Sonic pornography - that's what this is. And it was worth every penny, every pound, every shilling.

(To recap: The radiodudes let people choose between a free 120kbps download of the music, or a great big horking 'discbox', which basically contains all your hopes, dreams and fantasies [sexual or otherwise] from the last three years.)

With the discbox choice, you receive:
- The free 120k download (duh)
- In Rainbows 2 X LP
- In Rainbows CD
- In Rainbows bonus CD
- AMAZING artwork featuring splashes of florescent paint and pantone colors/fonts
- A book of the complete lyrics, embedded within the cardboard packaging
- An awesome 12x12 sleeve to house all this crazy stuff in

I couldn't be happier with it. Take a look at some pics I swiped from another site!

Now, bear in mind, In Rainbows is still growing on me. But it actually is growing, and that's a good thing.

When I first heard it, it had the initial cool factor that any new Radiohead release has, no question. But it didn't instantly reach out and grab me, the way The Bends did once, or even the way Kid A did the first time I heard it. I think it is a good album, however, and one that I will like more as time goes by. Hell, I didn't even like OK Computer the first few times I heard that, and, at this point, I think it's safe to say they did all right with that record. OK, even.

With this idea of an album being "a grower" in mind, more and more, I'm beginning to think Radiohead are absolute geniuses (wow, nobody's ever said that before! let me finish...) in how they marketed this album. Let's review:

The initial link lets them make money (or not) on a leak, on their own terms.
The discbox option lets them make a lot of money, and provide a great piece of art to their fans
Best of all, fans get the digital download early, so they can listen and get acclimated to the album for a few months, and then, they get to listen to it on lovely, lovely vinyl, once they've gained an ear for its subtleties.

In effect, they've coordinated this whole scheme in such a way that they actually help you to enjoy the album more with the discbox.

Clever little buggers.

I Want To Be Ben Chasny When I Grow Up

hellobastards@gmail.com (D'Artagnan) — Thu, 29 Nov 2007 05:14:00 +0000

Note to any aspiring guitarists out there: Keep practicing.

Turd Blossom: Now With 100% More Turd

hellobastards@gmail.com (D'Artagnan) — Wed, 28 Nov 2007 20:30:00 +0000

Karl Rove. Why, just saying his name makes me want to brush my teeth to get the taste out.

What can I say about the man that W affectionately dubbed "Turd Blossom" that would or could make him sound any worse than he could make himself sound? Answer: nothing. He doesn't need any help from me to incriminate himself, unfortunately.

Turdy McTurdleston has achieved a new, unprecedented level of evil though, so I did feel the need to mark the occasion. What did fattypants do this time, you ask? Well, you know that Iraq war that everyone's talking about? The one Rove-o-tron helped to orchestrate and profit from? Yeah, that one.

Well, it seems ol' Karl has decided to weigh in on it (emphasis on "weigh" LOLZ!) after all this time, to address the mistakes that have been made and finally take the people who rushed us into battle to task. Because of a select group of terrible, awful, no-good people, we jumped into a battle we had no hopes of winning, occupied a country that does not want us there, instigated civil war that shows no sign of dissipating and, oh, by the way, cost our own country billions of dollars and most imporantly, thousands of innocent, well-intentioned lives.

So who are these as-yet-unnamed warmongers that Rove went on national television and cited as the source of this whole mess? Well I'll tell you! None other than... the United States Congress!

Wait a second... the United States Congress??? Wait, that doesn't make any sense... I'm pretty sure that's not correct at all... and my girlfriend Arianna agrees with me!

The evidence that it was President Bush and Vice President Cheney -- and not Congress -- who were hungry for war is overwhelming. For starters, we have Bush's own words before the vote, when he explicitly told Congress that "it's in our national interest" to get the vote "done as quickly as possible." And the insistence of then-Secretary of Defense Rumsfeld that "delaying a vote in Congress would send the wrong message." And the words of then-Senate Majority Leader Tom Daschle who says that when he asked Bush in September 2002 why there was such a rush for a vote on Iraq the president "looked at Cheney and he looked at me, and there was a half-smile on his face. And he said: 'We just have to do this now.'"

And there is the insider evidence provided by Richard Clarke, who wrote that within hours of the 9/11 attacks, this administration had its heart set on heading into Iraq. And from Paul O'Neill, who made it clear that invading Iraq had been Bush's goal before he had even learned where the Oval Office supply closet was.

So I was right after all! Karl Rove is rewriting history for his own purposes! Thanks Arianna, you're the bestest gal ever.

And so, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, we learned something today: Turd Blossom is decidedly evil and definitely full of shit. He's positively blossoming with it.

Oh, I guess... we already knew that. Hmm.

But... if the GOP has taught us anything, it's that repetition is essential to convincing someone to see your side of the truth.

But... if the GOP has taught us anything, it's that repetition is essential to convincing someone to see your side of the truth.

But... if the GOP has taught us anything, it's that - oh, you get the point.

The Greatest Invention Since the Hoverboard

hellobastards@gmail.com (D'Artagnan) — Mon, 26 Nov 2007 17:33:00 +0000

This holiday season, I would urge everyone to remember what's most important: keeping warm.
And right behind that, I'd say: beards.

As someone with a beard who is also trying to keep warm, imagine my delight when I stumbled upon this truly genius creation - The Beard Cap!

Ever wonder what you'd look like with a beard? What your boss, nephew, mom or girlfriend would look like?

Well, wonder no more, with this handy invention! Thanks to a brilliant Scandinavian designer named Vik Prjónsdóttir, Now you (or your mom) can stay warm all winter and still give passers-by a serious case of the chuckles, which will help them to keep warm also.

If you, or your mom, would like to purchase one of these amazing devices, you may do so for the bargain price of $130 (who can really put a price on warmth and beards though?) at a store called Scandinavian Grace, in Brooklyn.